Amniotica. Love Is The Longest Distance To Loving You

Feb 11, 2024

Sunday February 11, 2024 | Unseen Versailles by Deborah Turbeville

5:36am Hey those are just numbers.

5:37am So relax. Well. I thought I’d switch things up a bit and plug in some Art onto a draft for me, that’s moi, talking, er, writing to my Self however publically (which is a very Willy Wonky Dr. Seussy type word that is waysy toosy woozy alliterative — which may not be a word at all, but does gain bonus points if mentioned in some [code for: most. but I don’t really know that either, jus sayin] — onto into whatever a draft for me for tomorrow which is today.

And just what is? Today.

Here’s a list

Today is tomorrow but sometimes

Today is tomorrow at sunrise

Today is tomorrow at the dawn of loving you

Today becomes yesterday if you play your cards right but yes there are those like me who dont know how to play cards so that leaves us or me outta that metaphor game like I mean entirely

Today may be tomorrow if you let it

Today is a nice word that does roll off the tongue better than tomorrow or yesterday so really it has that going for it already. Which is nice

Today is nice

Tiday passes for Today especially in Australia

Too Day ought to be the eighth day of the week or really I just think we should just do away with days of the week cuz well, theyre weak

If I love you today will you still love me tomorrow? Or somesuch Carol King song like that

Today is fuzzy around the edges yet entirely indifferent to that fact leaving my unhealed wounds to kick into overdrive which I will do my best and really. I honestly didnt know where to push or nudge that line to, so I’ll just leave it at that. Unhealed wounds.

Fuck.

figures

6:03am Listen, er, Read! I am determined to heal these fuckin unhesled wounds, dude! Like wtf.

OK me to unhealed wounds:

Dude. Like WTF? Listen. I was bawling my eyes out yesterday and that felt good n bad n all, but, really? I mean to think and love and appreciate that we, as human aminal mammalia amniotica bodies, Cosmic Beings n Consciousness. I mean, really fun people! Are sooooooo muy muy sensitivo. Fuckin Living Sensors! Neep! Neep! [corny robotic voice affected here] I am a Living Sensor. Neep! I am muy sensitivo to everything in the world. Neep. In the world around around us. Neep. So much so that I will be hurt n traumitized by someone elses unhealed wounds at an early age or maybe forever or on Too Day. Neep. And take in snd blend it into to the core of my Being. Neep nerp. And continue legacy(s) of pain most damaging n fuckt up. Neep neep. This is bruising. Neep. This is pain. Neep zeep. We carry yhese unhealed wounds where ever we go into many situs n relationships no matter how fleeting or close and they collide like some Sci Fi B movie. Neep. And so Legacy Nation of Neeps. Neep. Of pain. Neep neep. Of unhealed wounds seeking mirrors by or contrast to begin healing neeping process. Neep. And really

Ya gotta but you dont have to but ya gotta decide, I mean plant your neep in the ground like a fuckin crispy seared steak and say

I believe in healing

I believe in healing my neeps

These healing wound sting. Oh they sting stunk real bad. Real badditybadbad, dad.

Fuckin toss away your firstborn son — Dad!

crying now

6:59am I will heal. I am healing. I sm healed. And who are we as artists writers whathaveyou if we dont fully throw that guantlet down be that gauntlet on the ground in that dust plume rising all around us and laughing finding being ecstasy creating Art drawing our way in thru around under in between over and fuckin out of here! into ourselves into our truest selves. into our mammalia amniotica the cosmos that is loving and generous and kind cuz u know why!?!!

jus cuz

jus cuz muthufucker. cuz its a spit in your eye and theres Beauty to be had

Theres Beauty to BE!

And yes I would hold your hand and be there and share the warmth and share the blood flesh n bone.

But I will not share the pain. Or at least not just that. Cuz fool. Thats a waste. Thats shame done won your Heart. Thats a bypassed plane train ticket to nowheresville n sopping up the spoils when theres Beauty, Rad Beauty. Uncontrollable Love that is searing the steak of these skies snd writing you s fucking love letter, chum. You know what is sez? Dude. You know what it sez. It sez

You. You are the Beauty. You are the Life. You are the blood that runs this chic cheap rich deep wine gem of thing. And filling our heads with bouquet of whatever crazy wild delirious ecstatic humdrum silly noisy Life Goth Bubblegum Machine. Wet. Comic. Beautiful. Terrifying. And Loving.

We will terrorize everything with Love jus cuz, dude.

Just cuz we need love.

And need to give love.

Love, Elliot

Here’s some Deborah Turbeville. Quite Gothy and chic. Unsequenced.